| I give up.
Oxford has royally screwed me over. I worked my fucking ass off for the past 6 years of my life, and this is what I get?
1. Rejected from Berkeley.
2. Rejected from UCLA.
3. Rejected from USC.
4. Wait listed at the University of Richmond... one of the schools I was supposed to get into easily. And even if I do end up getting in, I probably won't get much financial aid (if any at all) because I'm wait listed.
5. Accepted to UT - Austin, a school I really, really, really want to go to. But, guess what? I was given absolutely no financial aid. They basically said, "Yeah, your single mother should take out over $40,000 each year in loans. Good luck, bitches."
6. Accepted to Cal Poly SLO, though probably only because nobody applies to their liberal arts programs. Why? Because they are terrible. (It's called a Polytechnic school for a reason.) I honestly don't even remember why I applied. Probably just to please my mom... and now that it's the best option for me, she'll probably make me go there. And I'll be stuck in the middle of a farm with people who can't find anything more interesting to do other than smoke weed 24/7 because the school is two hours away from civilization.
7. Accepted to Cal State Long Beach. Great.
8. Still haven't heard back from NYU, which definitely means the answer is a no. (Not like I was expecting anything different anyway.) Oh, but it would be even better for them to accept me, but then give me no financial aid at all. Just like Texas. That way, I can sit here and cry myself to sleep every night because I'm so close to being able to go to my 2nd choice college, but it'll never happen.
9. Still haven't heard back from Whitman, which is also so reassuring. And just like Cal Poly SLO, the place is located smack-dab in the middle of nowhere... which didn't sound too bad back in November when I thought places like UCLA, Berkeley, NYU, and USC were still an option.
Yes, I fucked up a lot in this whole college process. (Uh, can you blame me? This is kinda my first time, my mother never went to college so she had no clue, and the counselors were, as always, just so helpful.) I should have applied to more UC's. I should have applied to smaller liberal arts colleges in places that I'd actually enjoy living. But my decision that really messed me up was choosing to come to Oxford in hopes that it would get me into a better college. Wrong. It got me rejected from those colleges.
Everyday for the past month, I read the Facebook statuses of kids I went to elementary school with who went to regular high schools - Cypress, Kennedy, Los Alamitos, etc. And it seemed like almost everyday, one of them got into a school I wanted to go to. "Susie Q. got into USC!!!" "John S. got into Berkeley!!!" I was smarter than these kids. I realize that I'm no genius - I'm very far from it. But had I chosen to go to my home school instead of Oxford, I'd be happily posting my acceptances right along with them. I regret my choice to come here. And as much as I don't want to feel like that... as much as I want to try to focus on all of the good that came from my experience at Oxford, I can't. I feel like I made one of the biggest mistakes in my life thus far when I decided to come to this school.
Now, the problem is making sure I don't make this same mistake again.
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msschristinex's journal
